My Husband is Having a Techno-Meltdown!

My husband is having a techno-meltdown.

My husband is having a techno-meltdown! (Source of image: mediafuturist.com)
My husband is having a techno-meltdown! (Source of image: mediafuturist.com)

He’s trying to use the online job application tool here at Lane CC, which he was assured by somebody somewhere was “intuitive.” If his blood pressure goes any higher, our cats will implode with their efforts to absorb his energy and calm him down.

Only cats understand how "intuitive" computers really are! (Source of image: mediafuturist.com
Only cats understand how "intuitive" computers really are! (Source of image: mediafuturist.com

I agree that technology is crazy making. It has a whole set of rules that are no where made explicit to the poor casual user. If there’s one word my husband hates to hear about anything remotely techie, it’s “intuitive.”

I could have helped him. I tried to help him. I scanned his transcripts and gave them back to him as .jpgs. Which made sense to me. The system wanted .pdfs, although that wasn’t presented to him as an option. Eventually, he turned them into .pdfs, but they were larger than 2 mgs, although that load limit is nowhere announced. It took a nail-biting e-mail to HR to find out that obscure piece of information.

I could have made them smaller, but he didn’t know to ask me that question. My ordinarily seraphically calm, centered husband was a seething hunk of steamin’ junk by the time I came back on the scene.

STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!  (Source of image: efan78.com)
Honey? This is me. Let me say it sloowly one more time, "STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!" (Source of image: efan78.com)

Sound familiar? Ever been so angry at the mute intransigence of some so-called “intuitive” software that you could bite the head off a rattlesnake?

The word “intuitive” implies you aren’t in touch enough with your feelings to understand this delicate flower of a software engineer’s brain that promises to do so much for you if you are only sensitive enough to its needs.

Like a high maintenance lover, you eventually get more maddened than gladdened by its increasingly dubious charms.

Yeah, I’m getting around to you new or potential Word Press users. If everyone says it’s the greatest CMS (content management system) in the world and that millions of users are happily blogging away on it–what the BLEEP! is the matter with you?

Um. Secret here. Personally, I am not one of those people who tries to put the toy together straight out of the package. Destroy toy first? Read directions later? Nope. Sorry. Not that person.

I know it’s freaky, but I read about my new software of choice first. I go online and find screencasts (little movies that show what buttons to push–they’re all over the web–I’ll find some for you). I talk to other users. Think about it. Then I jump in with a life preserver on.

For example, to learn how to blog on Word Press, I first bought and sorta read four books (or checked them out from the library. Whatever.):

  1. Create Your Own Blog: 6 Easy Projects to Start Blogging Like a Pro This was written by my Word Press guru Tris Hussey.
    This was my first blogging book, and I love how Tris makes blogging accessible and fun to learn  about
    This was my first blogging book, and I love how Tris makes blogging accessible and fun to learn about
  2. Using WordPress also by Tris Hussey. This is my favorite because with it comes an online access code to his great screencasts. Starting to see a pattern here?
  3. The Everything Blogging Book: The beginner’s guide to the blogospere by Aliza Sherman Risdahl. I skipped around to find what I wanted to know–what? You don’t do that?
    This book has everything but the kitchen sink to do with blogging questions I had as a beginner
    This book has everything but the kitchen sink to do with blogging questions I had as a beginner
I guess I'm an intermediate blogger now, and this is my current reading. I heart the brain science of learning!
I guess I'm an intermediate blogger now, and this is my current reading. I heart the brain science of learning!

4. Head First Word Press: A Brain Friendly Guide by Jeff Siarto. This is when I really started to get obsessed, but Head First is written by a guy who just kinda takes you by the hand and says, “See that?”

Hmm what else? I took an online webinare from Writer’s Digest University about blogging (very useful!). I poked around in the software, watched screencasts and just kinduv crept up on it, and now here I am, ready, willing, and able to help the Lane CC community with their blogging dreams!

In other words, I open myself to learn. In a sick sort of way, I kind of like the feeling of knowing nothing and then both systematically and randomly learning something new. Along the way, I’ve done my share of heaving computers through closed windows into the snow.

I’ve snarled, snapped and acted out.

I've snarled, snapped and acted act...  (Source of image: bethharte.posterous.com)
I've snarled, snapped and acted act... (Source of image: bethharte.posterous.com)

I’ve learned to just

45 Replies to “My Husband is Having a Techno-Meltdown!”

  1. Elvis shot his TV. I’m beginning to understand Elvis. I often give my computer very funny looks. But Sandy got it right with my melt down. And, from the other side of having got it done, it all looks very funny. Man versus program, and the program rules the man. I love how colleges presume that on-line classes are for all. Computer literacy? My students don’t even have the same writing programs. Doesn’t everyone use WORD? Nope.
    Sometimes I’m not amused,

  2. I just wrote a response and puff it was gone because I didn’t write the anti-spam word. Peter you are right!

    An NOT going to repeat myself except that it is a great picture.

  3. My grandfather was the owner of the first computer I’d ever used- I was about 8. It started a technologically oriented familial trend, very early on- He passed away several years ago, and when my grandmother passed last year I finally got the plastic framed color printed paper my Grandpa Joe had had on his computer desk since I can remember: *ahem*

    WARNING!
    This machine is subject to breakdown during periods of critical need.

    A special circuit in the machine called a ‘critical detector’ senses the operator’s emotional state in terms of how desperate he or she is to use the machine. The ‘critical detector’ then creates a malfunction proportional to the desperation of the operator. Threatening the machine with violence only aggravates the situation. Likewise, attempts to use another machine may cause it to also malfunction. They belong to the same union. Keepp cool and say nice things to the machine. Nothing else seems to work.
    -Never let anything mechanical know you’re in a hurry.

    ?

  4. My grandfather was the owner of the first computer I’d ever used- I was about 8. It started a technologically oriented familial trend, very early on- He passed away several years ago, and when my grandmother passed last year I finally got the plastic framed color printed paper my Grandpa Joe had had on his computer desk since I can remember: *ahem*

    WARNING!
    This machine is subject to breakdown during periods of critical need.

    A special circuit in the machine called a ‘critical detector’ senses the operator’s emotional state in terms of how desperate he or she is to use the machine. The ‘critical detector’ then creates a malfunction proportional to the desperation of the operator. Threatening the machine with violence only aggravates the situation. Likewise, attempts to use another machine may cause it to also malfunction. They belong to the same union. Keep cool and say nice things to the machine. Nothing else seems to work.
    -Never let anything mechanical know you’re in a hurry.

    ?

  5. Heya! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any trouble with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing a few months of hard work due to no back up. Do you have any methods to stop hackers?

  6. I do not know if it’s just me or if perhaps everyone else experiencing problems with your website. It appears like some of the written text in your posts are running off the screen. Can someone else please comment and let me know if this is happening to them as well? This may be a issue with my web browser because I’ve had this happen before. Many thanks

  7. Hey there! I know this is kind of off-topic however I had to ask. Does operating a well-established website such as yours require a lot of work? I am brand new to blogging however I do write in my journal on a daily basis. I’d like to start a blog so I can share my personal experience and views online. Please let me know if you have any kind of recommendations or tips for new aspiring bloggers. Thankyou!

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  9. Hey would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using? I’m planning to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a difficult time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S Sorry for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

  10. I don’t know whether it’s just me or if everybody else encountering problems with your website. It appears like some of the text within your content are running off the screen. Can somebody else please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them as well? This might be a problem with my internet browser because I’ve had this happen before. Thank you

  11. I was wondering if you ever considered changing the layout of your site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two images. Maybe you could space it out better?

  12. I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Superb work!

  13. Good day! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog. Is it difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Cheers

  14. Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the images on this blog loading? I’m trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any responses would be greatly appreciated.

  15. I was curious if you ever considered changing the layout of your blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

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  17. My coder is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on several websites for about a year and am nervous about switching to another platform. I have heard excellent things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress content into it? Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

  18. I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz reply as I’m looking to design my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from. thanks a lot

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  22. My coder is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on various websites for about a year and am concerned about switching to another platform. I have heard fantastic things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any help would be really appreciated!

  23. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog when you could be giving us something informative to read?

  24. I do not know if it’s just me or if everybody else encountering issues with your blog. It appears as though some of the text within your content are running off the screen. Can somebody else please comment and let me know if this is happening to them too? This might be a problem with my web browser because I’ve had this happen before. Many thanks

  25. The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  26. When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get three e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service? Appreciate it!

  27. Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any trouble with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing months of hard work due to no data backup. Do you have any methods to stop hackers?

  28. Howdy are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you need any html coding knowledge to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!

  29. I’m really loving the theme/design of your blog. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A small number of my blog visitors have complained about my blog not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera. Do you have any tips to help fix this issue?

  30. I am curious to find out what blog platform you have been using? I’m experiencing some minor security issues with my latest site and I’d like to find something more secure. Do you have any suggestions?

  31. Hey there are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you need any html coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!

  32. Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your blog. You have some really good posts and I feel I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some articles for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please shoot me an e-mail if interested. Many thanks!

  33. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article writer for your blog. You have some really great posts and I feel I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an e-mail if interested. Thank you!

  34. Great website you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any discussion boards that cover the same topics discussed here? I’d really like to be a part of online community where I can get feedback from other experienced people that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Cheers!

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  37. I am really enjoying the theme/design of your website. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A small number of my blog readers have complained about my website not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome. Do you have any advice to help fix this problem?

  38. I do like the manner in which you have framed this particular situation and it does present me personally a lot of fodder for thought. However, from just what I have seen, I simply wish when the actual feed-back stack on that individuals continue to be on point and in no way get started upon a soap box regarding the news du jour. Anyway, thank you for this fantastic point and whilst I do not really concur with it in totality, I regard your point of view.

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